The Most Beautiful Mother in the World

Rachel,

I hope this letter finds its way to You through the World. You don’t know me, but I know You. You will hear these words from me if I ever meet You. Then, I would hug You, even though I don’t know You. Rachel, You must know that I don’t like hugging or greeting people. But I want to hug You with all my heart.

Whatever I write to You now, I’m afraid of hurting or upsetting You. I don’t understand Your pain. Please, read this letter when the time is right. I don’t want to reopen Your wounds, I don’t want to break You.

To me, and to the eyes of the entire world, You are the archetype of the Greatest Mother. You are beautiful, You are very wise, You are brave. You carry goodness and immense empathy within You. You have love for others.

Rachel, I adore Your poem about the seed in our shared tears. I know what You wanted to convey. I don’t understand where You draw Your strength from. You would say it’s from Hersh. Rachel, I admire You so much. You are an Angel from Heaven.

Your Son wasn’t much older than me. Hersh looks strikingly like my cousin in the photos. Rachel, You did everything You could. You did much more than any other woman. You did more than any man. You did more than Joe Biden and Benjamin Netanyahu. Rest now.

Please, Rachel, rest and give Yourself time. Grieve and rise again, because You are a Phoenix. And You have Your whole life ahead of You. When You lose Someone You loved so dearly, You must live twice as much from that day on. Truly, Rachel, from now on, You must draw twice as much joy from life, for Hersh. You haven’t lost Him, He lives. He lives in Gan Eden and in our hearts. You know You will feel Him. Remember, He never leaves You for a single day. He is with You now and in every other moment. He loves You every second.

Rachel, I know You work as a teacher, but I think You are too talented for that. I wish I had You as my teacher, I’m sure all Your students say the same as I do, but Rachel, You are meant for greater things. You raised a Wonderful Son and fought for Him like a Lioness, so now rest, but don’t give up.

Rachel, You are made of light. You have too much goodness inside You to waste it. You don’t have to start now, unless work calms You. You must write. You have immense talent, Rachel. Please, never stop. I know You write to Him. I know You write to Your Son. He reads it. Trust that.

You are eloquent, diplomatic, distinguished, and yet You carry the greatest warmth I have ever seen in Someone’s Eyes. Rachel, if You don’t want to, You don’t have to do anything. The last thing I want for You is pressure. Today, rest, but one day, stand up and act.

One day, the morning will come when You walk to the window. You will listen to music again, and You will sit in the chair with Your crosswords again. You will smile, and You won’t blame Yourself anymore, You won’t beat Yourself up anymore. You’ve done more than anyone else. It’s not Your fault.

That day will come slowly. First, You’ll return to eating normally. I know You can’t swallow anything right now. Rachel, as cruel as it sounds, this passes. Your grief is beautiful, it’s an exhausting but beautiful time. The body slowly gets used to the pain. You know that, Dear. You know this well.

I know that one day, Your actions will bear fruit for the World. Everyone who returns to us from Gaza owes it to You, Rachel. My heart is in despair that Your Son will never hug You again. But You know, Rachel, death is better than life. The problem is within us. We believe that living is the happiest state, but HaShem knows better, and at the right time, He takes us back. I can’t understand why He took Your Hersh back so soon. He must have been a Beautiful Nefesh for Adonai to want it that way.

Rachel, write, because that is Your calling. If You don’t want to do anything else anymore, don’t show Yourself or meet anyone. Screw them, screw this World, but promise me one thing, promise me Rachel, that You will keep writing. For Hersh.

Roni