_edited.png){kind=small}
The Dyed Fox
- Lady Ronit
- Dec 13, 2024
- 5 min read
We were at the beach with my Nini. Years go by, we get older, but the end of summer remains unchanged. We are in some warm country, Nini and I together, having fun. It's impossible to describe all the silly things we did today in the middle of the lake. This year we chose a lake, and I let myself be talked into sailing. Nini and I paddled out to the middle of the body of water on a paddle board, wearing a ridiculous life jacket that would keep us afloat if we fell in. We spent the whole day on the beach, with breaks for ice cream. We were dirty, disgustingly dirty and smelly.
Unfortunately, I had the unpleasantness of meeting an old acquaintance and had to pretend to like her. I didn’t have to, but sometimes I pretend because it’s a good thing. Almost all the bridges in my life are burned, so if I meet someone from the past, I fake the greatest sympathy. Partly for the sake of self-interest, and partly to convince myself I’m releasing good energy into the world.
Since we're teenagers, and this is my last teenage summer, we played as if we were Native Americans paddling a canoe, and later as Somali pirates. I don’t remember what Nini’s native name was because she made it up herself, but her Somali name, which I gave her, was: Furious Uga. I couldn’t decide on my native name either, it was something cliché like Swift River, which made Nini laugh, and my Somali name was: Wild Dzhaga.
I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s a miracle we didn’t drown and a miracle the water police didn’t arrest us. Sometimes plainclothes officers do checks on boats; I saw it happen once in real life. Anyway, I had a good time. I hadn’t been this happy for a long time, since Laila. Laila happened a week ago. Easy come, easy go, like a wave.
I wanted to write about a dyed beard and two idiots whom I insulted on the spot because I forgot how sound carries over water. As we were paddling, we passed private homes and the lake access of my neighbours, two of whom were swimming with us. One was tall and handsome. Shy, as a boy should be. The other was cheeky and stupid. And he had a dyed beard. The younger, handsome one was surfing around us on a motorized surfboard. I found it amusing, just as I was amused yesterday by the fat son of my neighbours riding an electric scooter while his slim friend pedaled a regular bike with his own strength. How dumb do you have to be to use electronics to avoid exercising?
The younger one smiled and made advances, but then he returned to their boat and they switched. Too bad, the younger one would have gotten a job with me as a lover. No matter how successful my romances are, there’s always room in my harem-circus. The older, dyed one was clearly the owner of both the house and the boat. The surfboard was his, too. He was instructing the young one, and from his conversation, it was easy to deduce that he was in charge. He paddled straight up to us without hesitation. A brief interaction ensued. Nini almost insulted him. If it weren’t for that dyed beard, I would have been tempted to do so. But when he came up, I was so repulsed that I completely ignored him. Only Nini talked to him. I didn’t even say hello. Later, I sang in Hebrew, and Nini counted in Japanese for me to jump, then in Russian, German, Spanish. We were amused by how many languages we knew.
If Mom saw this!
She’d have a heart attack.
My parents regret every penny, or rather every thousand, they spent on my education. Look where I ended up!
The rest of this article is only available to Paid Subscribers.